Fatherhood

I married my beloved last February, and became a father at
age forty-eight in October. I pondered fatherhood for a
time, even before I was married. Was I too old? Will I have
time or the energy to meet my son's needs? Was it fair to
have a child at my age? After all, If the average age of a
man is seventy-five, then I will be dead when my son is
twenty-seven. My friend's children will make my friends
grandparents in a short time. I doubt I will be around for my
own grandchildren.
But let me say this, I would do it all over again in a
heartbeat! The joy and love I feel for my son grows
exponentially with each day that passes. I went from living
alone, to a family of three, (family of five, if you count our
two cats), and the house feels alive once more. My other concern is that history doesn't repeat itself. My
father was a good man, a good provider. He was physically
strong and handsome, but his life was his work, and he didn't
spend a lot of quality time with his children. He didn't or
couldn't express his emotions effectively, which left me bewildered about
how my father felt about certain things, including me.
I will try my best not to be like that. I will try to be a
good father, as well as a good husband, and hopefully, break
the chain that binds my ancestors emotional detachment towards
their own children.